On our virtual ‘back page,’ British writer Victoria Stewart imagines a meeting of some truly unlikable characters planning what will somehow probably be the hottest new restaurant in London.
It is late morning in central London, and Nick Mooder is waiting in the Care’n’Share ideas suite of a co-working space in Soho.
A lifelong foodie (nicknamed Foodie Moodie by his friends and family), Nick has spent years eating in the world’s best restaurants (thirteen to be exact – if you count the one that recently lost its MrMen star) but it was only recently that he decided he’d like to ditch insurance and conjure up a proposal for a new urban eating space.
Over the next two hours Nick hopes to move the ongoing conversation between him and the others from what is currently a series of vague ideas towards a more consolidated Approach Plan (concept is too 2017). He feels that this, their 7th brainstorming huddle, should provide them with ample time to lock down the branding, design, menu and staff style guide.
“How are we this morning?” says a breezy Lily Wiseman, exposure expert and CEO of a boutique communications agency, Bullseye. Self-tagged as the person to turn snack-sized ideas into edible clickbait, Nick has seen the work Lily did on the FunFreeBurger campaign, so is generally happy to hear whatever contributions she puts on the table.
A few steps behind her is Mabelina Jones, or Mabe, their (unpaid) intern, recommended to Lily by a family friend. Fresh out of university with a degree in Personal Influencership, Mabe has been asked to take notes from the planning stages of what Lily believes could be the hottest idea since avocado on toast – although because Mabe secretly believes she could genuinely be on the cusp of worldwide fame, she is 85% more committed to updating her SnapCrap channel than listening to Nick bish bash boshing his ideas around.
This article appeared in full in Off/Cuts in August; read it here